The Passenger

Love Molecules

Crazy, passionate love has a shelf-life of 1 year.  Go figure.  And here I thought it was just that the magic went up in smoke...

Suggestions For A Cuddlier Senate

With yesterday’s closed door session in the Senate, the looming nuclear battle over Alito’s nomination, and all-out acrimony poisoning the relationships between Republican and Democrat senators, Washington is now officially a Danger Zone.  It just occurred to me that, except in some of the more ideologically entrenched areas in the country, most of us don’t vote for a senator or congressman with the hope that they’ll go to D.C. to antagonize the other side.  Most people vote for people who promise to keep the country’s interests as their top priority, and who vow to try to work across party lines to get results.  Even George Bush was originally elected (or almost elected, as the case may be) partly because he promised to be “a uniter, not a divider.” 

Somewhere along the way, things went terribly wrong.  What’s a country to do if its senators are all at each other’s throats?  The Passenger suggests that the 100 boys and girls representing us do a little soul searching, a little growing up, and a little bonding.  Having read books about the culture of Washington in the 50s, I was struck by how people like Richard Nixon and Tip O’Neill regularly set aside their differences at 5 PM to socialize and play some poker.  These types of  social activities created personal bonds between senators of all stripes; these bonds carried over into the senate chambers, where friendly adversaries would work to find compromises that each side could live with.  Since this is sorely lacking in today’s D.C., here are a few suggestions for activities that the 100 senators could do to facilitate such bonding:

    1. Put on a play for the House of Representatives.  Anyone who has lived through high school can recall the excitement, chaos, and ultimate adrenaline of staging a play for the school.  There are more than enough senators to conduct a top notch play, such as “A Streetcar Named Desire” or “Hair,” which will force the senators to work closely together, lest they get up on stage and royally embarrass themselves.

    2. Throw a car-wash Iraqi War Fund-raiser on K Street.  Granted, having 100 people involved in this will be a little tricky, but some of them can make signs and stand on either end of the street to promote it.  And who wouldn’t want to see Orrin Hatch in his skivvies, soaping up a Ford Taurus to raise money for our troops?

    3. Settle in for a night of videos, starting with “Spinal Tap”  and “Wet Hot American Summer.” Cramming 100 senators into a room together as they laugh the night away is a pretty good way to rid them of all the bad blood.  Alternatively, they might try a Simpsons marathon.  Imagine floor fights that quickly deflate with references to the odd relationship between Lenny and Carl, or having Ted Kennedy do his best Diamond Joe Quimby impression....

    4. Take a weekend off and join Habitat For Humanity.  The senators will all finally be doing something productive, working together to build houses for poor people.  And they’ll actually feel good about themselves by Sunday night. Hell, they might even learn to like helping poor people...

    5. Rent a big-ass Winnebago and travel cross-country.  Nothing is more American than taking a road trip, and this will give the senators some time to get to know each other as they see the entire country they represent and influence. Late night soul-baring chats as they cruise down Route 66, taking cheesy pix in front of the Grand Canyon, storming through Graceland, the friendships forged during this trip will last long after this crop has passed through the senate chambers for the final time.

    6. Get a puppy to serve as Senate Mascot.  Puppies have a way of playfully distracting people from life’s everyday stresses.  Can anyone picture Bill Frist trying to seriously dress-down Harry Reid if a big-ass puppy jumps on top of him and starts licking him?  And who’s going to be getting angry about demands for investigations into pre-war intelligence failures if the puppy lays on its back, searching for a tummy rub?  We recommend this puppy:

7. Play a weekly game of Asshole.  For those not familiar with this popular college drinking game:  the whole point is to get massively, massively wrecked.  Even when you lose, you win, and conversations tend to grow much more humorous as the night grows on.  Hillary Clinton could drink Rick Santorum under the table, and even Dick Cheney can show up to call folks “asshole” with impunity–if he drinks enough, that is.  Also for consideration is a weekly game of “I Never.”

    8. Start up a scrappy basketball team to take on the Harlem Globetrotters for a charity match.  This would require tons of hard work and practice, which is exactly what the senators need if they’re going to ever grow comfortable with each other.  They’re going to learn all about the meaning of teamwork, and also what it’s like to have their collective ass handed to ‘em.  I hear that Tom Coburn’s got a pretty mean sky hook, but it’s probably no match against Goose Tatum.  Luckily, this will also teach the senators that it’s not about winning or losing, but about sportsmanship.

    9. Three-legged races on the Mall.  This, along with potato sack races, will allow the senators to work off that competitive drive, but will also show them how to work together to make it to the literal and proverbial finish line.  With the death a few years ago of Strom Thurmond, the median age of the senate has creeped down, and it’s a little safer to suggest these activities.  Still, Robert Byrd and Ted Kennedy may choose cheerleader roles, if they’re worried about nasty falls.  If this scene could get the Brady Bunch to heal their inter-family squables, it’s bound to be gold in D.C.

        10. Lock the senators in a recording studio, and force them to write and record a “We Are The World” style single.  They may add elements of the Chicago Bears’ “Superbowl Shuffle” if they wish, but the basic idea is to put out a hot single that shows their love for humanity, coupled with their flair for entertainment and droppin’ mad science. Once those creative juices start flowing, the senators are going to realize that while individually they may not see eye to eye, collectively they are an unstoppable force of positivity. [The only drawback is that they may decide music is their forte and drop out of legislating, altogether.  Or maybe that’s not such a drawback]...   

Can This Woman Be Stopped?

Yes, everyone is buzzing about Harriet Miers, possible indictments against Scooter Libby and Karl Rove, and Bush's fractured base (and I'll have more on that later, time permitting), but the real question of the day--the question everyone should be asking: CAN THIS WOMAN BE STOPPED??

Seriously, Jolie is like a crazed adoption machine.  It's getting to be compulsive, and a little scary.....

UPDATE: As of 9:30 a.m., at least two Passenger contributors have been adopted by Angelina Jolie.  More as news develops....

Bi-Partisan Partisan Hack, You Say?

Just wanted to make sure this didn't fall through the cracks (courtesy, The Dallas Morning News):

The U.S. Hispanic Contractors Association was convicted Wednesday on charges that it illegally provided corporate contributions to two Democratic candidates in 2002.

The convictions were touted by District Attorney Ronnie Earle, who has been vilified by Republicans' attorneys and in attack ads as a liberal Democrat who goes after GOP leaders, such as U.S. Rep. Tom DeLay and Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison.

So it appears as though Earle is quite serious about enforcing TX election law, no matter which party is guitly.  Good for him.

WikiStuffed: China Blocks Wikipedia

For "unconfirmed reasons," Wikipedia is being blocked in many parts of China. This has happened before. Last year, Wikipedia was apparently blocked in retaliation for its entry for Tiananmen Square.

This is of course bad news for people who value the free exchange of ideas and information. It is, perhaps, good news for people who own stock in Yahoo.

B-E-N-N-E-T-T = A-S-S-H-O-L-E

Remember, like, back in what, 9th grade? When it was so cool to wave your arm at someone and say "asssshole. asssssshole" whenever they were being a prick?  Yeah, well c'mon, everyone do it with me now:

The former U.S. education secretary-turned-talk show host said Wednesday that "if you wanted to reduce crime, you could -- if that were your sole purpose -- you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down." Bennett quickly added that such an idea would be "an impossible, ridiculous and morally reprehensible thing to do." But, he said, "your crime rate would go down." [Courtesy Wapo]

Or, if you really want to have some fun, listen to Bennett's remarks here, and start screaming obscenities at your computer speakers.

Update: The White House distances itself from Bennett: '''The president believes the comments were not appropriate,' White House press secretary Scott McClellan said" [Courtesy AP/NYTimes].  But the real kicker from the AP piece is that Bennett is the author of "The Book of Virtues."  Apparently by virtues, Bennett means the extermination of black people. 

Seriously though folks, under the thin venear of "compassion" in their conservatism, some Republicans still wish Strom Thurmond had won the Presidency, so policies like this could make the agenda.

The Circus Comes to Town

Last weekend over 100,000 anti-war protesters descended on DC to stick it to the man, or actually the men, since anger seemed to be equally distributed between Bush and Dick (as one creative sign read, “Bush + Dick = Fuck). Here are some observations from an intrepid polo shirt-wearing participant…

 
A.N.S.W.E.R and United for Peace and Justice Together at Last, Hopefully for the Last Time

The biggest bummer of this protest was UfPJ’s decision to cosponsor with ANSWER, an organization with a lot of clout in the peace movement and an unfortunate reputation for anti-Semitism. UfPJ was initially created as a more inclusive alternative to ANSWER, but apparently leaders of the two organizations came to some sort of understanding for this event. Surprisingly, this disappointing development failed to keep people away - the Jewish service I attended before the march was packed with protesters – but I hope UfPJ shows a little more backbone next time.

 
Veterans and Hippies Together at Last

I didn’t see any Iraq-war veterans, but they were prominent in many media reports. What struck me was that during the last big anti-war movement there was a huge cultural gap between those who served and those who protested. Now Americans of all stripes are standing up to an administration that sold them a war with a pack of lies.

 
What Do We Want? SLEEP! When Do We Want It? NOW!

Protesters came to our nation’s capitol from far and wide. Some probably drove all night to get here in time for the march. Unfortunately, the planners decided that a rock concert until 1am was in order. The result: a patch of mall littered with exhausted, passed-out protesters sleeping while mediocre bands rocked out through a sweet sound system.

Best Protest Sign

“Grow Your Own Vegetables.”

Runner Up: “Free the St. Patrick’s 4” accompanied by the chant “we have the corner! We have the corner!” The chanter did indeed have the corner, and she was standing on it unchallenged. Several cops did stand closely by, however, watching warily… ready to defend the public walkway from those… dangerous…. protesters.

Which brings me to my next point,

D.C. Cops Dispatch Their Duties with Professionalism and Élan

After hearing horror stories about innocent bystanders being corralled and arrested en mass in

New York City

during the RNC, I was impressed by the professionalism of the D.C. police, who seemed surprisingly relaxed throughout the entire event. 

 
Staying on Message?

The theme of the protest was “end the war and bring the troops home now.”  Admittedly, though it appeared as though a good many protesters (including yours truly) were uncertain as to whether bringing the troops home now (vs. later, perhaps after the constitution is ratified) was actually a good idea. 

Yahoo Complicit in China's Crackdown?

Yesterday, AP writer Audra Ang penned an article about China's new crackdown on internet news sites. It seems that the government only wants "healthy and civilized" news and opinion making the rounds. They've blocked certain web sites and apparently closed down thousands of cybercafes. The Chinese government has a long, sordid history of censoring, arresting, and otherwise harassing journalists and dissidents. Here, though, is the kicker:

Earlier this month, a French media watchdog group said e-mail account information provided by Internet powerhouse Yahoo Inc. (Nasdaq:YHOO - news) helped lead to the conviction and 10-year prison sentence of a Chinese journalist who had written about media restrictions in an e-mail.

Yahoo! say it ain't so! The search engines, and the internet as a whole, is a revolutionary tool because of the way it allows people from all over the world to exchange information. Companies like Google and Yahoo profit marvelously by acting as conduits of this information. Shamefully, Yahoo is now also acting as a bouncer. People have their criticisms of how the most prominent search engines sort their results, and some of those may be fair--I don't have the expertise to say one way or the other. But a line has clearly been crossed when Yahoo contributes to the imprisonment of a journalist. It's bad enough that they agreed to help the Chinese government censor out sites that conflict with its political ideology. If Yahoo really did what this media watchdog group says they did--turn over private emails of a client so that he could be arrested for writing about media restrictions--then the company is truly on the wrong side of history and a fair weather friend to those who yearn for more open societies.

Good Vibrations

Brian Wilson, creator of the greatest hits from the Beach Boys (and, by extention, architect of the California mystique) has been one of the few celebrities to truly open his heart as well as his wallet in times of tragedy.  Despite the busy touring schedule, and the general hectic nature of being a musical legend, he has been promising to call people who donate at least $100 (through his website) for the hurricane victims through October 1, and chat on the phone with them for a couple of minutes. He has also vowed to match each donation through that period, no matter how large. That's incredibly big hearted, and Wilson should be applauded for his work.  It's hard to imagine many notable figures of his stature doing that same sort of good deed.

On the other hand--and I'm writing as a huge Brian Wilson fan--the man has had serious mental/anxiety issues for decades, and anyone who has seen him speak in interviews or in concert knows that his conversational style can border on the tortured.  It's a little too easy to imagine the thrill of getting to speak with this musical legend getting mixed with staring uncomfortably at your watch, waiting for the long silences and awkward conversation to end....

On the web: www.brianwilson.com/

Communications Revolution Thy Name is Woman

Matt Richtel and Michael Marriott over at the Times definitely put their finger on the, er… button, when they highlight the importance of the porn industry in driving new technologies like file sharing and cell phone video. Similarly, a savvy attendee of last week’s “Politics to Go” conference at George Washington University pointed out that commercial advertising revenue, not voter education, would be the real motivator for the proliferation of mobile devices.  While surely both theses are correct, they underscore the delicate contradiction the communications industry (including politics) balances between giving people what they want (porn, political information) and forcing on people what they don’t want (advertising, political information).  This disconnect is reminiscent of another Times article highlighting the way tech firms are pushing “digital convergence” despite little evidence that consumers are actually looking for such a life-solution.

Meanwhile, without diminishing the enthusiasm of this blog for cheap municipal wireless broadband, it looks like Google has beat everyone to the punch, offering free WiFi in San Francisco.  Of course the rumor has run wild that Google plans cover the entire country with their free service (it certainly seems to fit their business model – more people hooked up to them internets means more people clicking on the google ads).